Regnan’s ESG carols

Each December, we have some fun reflecting on the year that was with an ESG-focused carol. You can find some of our previous carols below. Enjoy!


To the tune of ‘Away in a Manger’

Arrayed in Hayne’s chamber, bank leaders were led
To face allegations of: charging the dead,
Mis-selling of products, conflicted advice,
A bonus regardless of naughty or nice.

Investors are shocked, regulators awake,
But public perception’s we’re all on the take:
When profits were booked to provide our returns,
Too few of us challenged how profits were earned.

On ethics, corruption, or climate or rights
Stewardship’s not in the near term share price
Integrity culture; did we intervene?
And will we do better in twenty nineteen?


To the tune of ‘All I Want for Christmas is You’

We don’t want a lot for Christmas
There are just some things we need
We don’t care about the profits
If they’re only temporary
We just want long term results
More than you could ever know
Make our wish come true
To help deliver value to you

We do want some stuff from business
There’s important things we need
We’d like more integrated thinking
And stress tests per TCFD
We need intangibles reported
fair-priced in the market place
Short term goals won’t make us happy
Tomorrow needs our help today!

We want your help along this road
more than you could ever know!
to make stewardship come true
All we want is progress, for you.


To the tune of ‘Jingle Bells’

Corporate culture woes
Conduct issues rife
Round again we go
Investors pay the price
Blame is everywhere
Social licence on the ropes
Yet what fun
they seem to have
with remuneration votes!

Jingling bells
Warning bells:
An ice shelf fell away
The votes that won
shocked everyone
The People had their say (hey!)

The curtain falls
with wake up calls
about the year we’ve seen
Inclusive growth
our only hope
for twenty seventeen?


To the tune of ‘Let it Snow’

Oh the business conduct is frightful
Some bad apples are being deceitful
The only way to let investors know…
Whistleblow! Whistleblow! Whistleblow!

As the festive season does erupt
We need disclosure about what’s corrupt
Rather than let it go
Whistleblow! Whistleblow! Whistleblow!

We’d also like integrated reporting
Telling the story full and true
Directors being properly sporting
Liability depends on your point of view

Boards will stop their weeping
And investors will be keeping
Shares in firms where they know it’s OK to
Whistleblow! Whistleblow! Whistleblow!



To the tune of ‘Winter Wonderland’

Here’s the thing, if you’re listed:
Investors can choose not to risk it.
If they want to divest;
rethink your protest,
Because our market’s not centrally planned.

Gone’s the day, they'd leave it to you, or
brook delay in when you choose to,
face evident facts
or clean up your act or
demonstrate a strategy’s in hand.

Futureproofing really needs new thinking,
To stop groupthink and strengthen strategy
When you aspire only to rent-seeking
We all conclude you need more diversity!

And what’s more, they will decry you
If you indulge in your desire to
Frustrate good reforms, legislate puny norms or
render weak the good laws of the land.

If you think it has escaped their notice, you
must be living underneath a rock.
When they engage but you reform no practice
There’s no excuse for shock when they sell the stock!

And if they do withhold opining
In Fin Review; it reads like whining.
Fix substance not form
and they'll come back aboard,
it’s a better way to stimulate demand.


To the tune of ‘Hark! The Herald Angels Sing’

Hark the governance experts sing
CEOs are wearing too much bling
Relative TSR excluding resources
It’s not luck, it’s market forces!
Sign‐ons to compete world‐wide
Keep those headhunters on our side
Pay freezes now across the board
No first strike is our reward!
Troubled all ye shareholders rise
Look those chairmen in the eyes!

Human rights in the production chain
So much lost for so little gain
Whistleblowers’ time has come
As we try to protect our FUM
Bribery to be a thing of the past
As our votes we do cast
Health for workers far and near
Spreading all that Christmas cheer
Troubled all ye shareholders rise
Look those chairmen in the eyes!

Investors confused about the carbon price
Empty promises cut no ice
Stranded assets must be contained
Future value can’t be drained
Externalities are becoming more dear
Adding to investors’ fear
ESG comes to the fore
Keep that share price off the floor!
Troubled all ye shareholders rise
Look those chairmen in the eyes!


To the tune of ‘God Rest ye Merry Gentlemen’

Warnings sounded, flights a-grounded
Euro spreading fear
When News cried “humble,” pie was thrown
Public displeasure clear
This twelvemonth has seen much ado
It’s been a troubled year

Few tidings of comfort and joy
If you’re a good ‘ole boy
Few tidings of comfort and joy.

In The City, Wall Street, Martin Place,
There’s now a great divide
Tween those in charge and those who have
And those exposed outside
Like Bethlehem it’s no surprise
The place is #Occupied

Without tidings of comfort and joy
Comfort and joy
Without tidings of comfort and joy

But rest ye merry, gentlemen
Let nothing you dismay
The old tie will take care of you
It hasn’t gone away
It opens doors it closes ranks
With those who go astray

O tidings of comfort and joy,
Comfort and joy
O tidings of comfort and joy



To the tune of ‘Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas’

GFC? We’ve put it all behind us,
Market prospects: bright
In two-oh-ten,
Resources will mean “she’ll be right”
GFC? We’ve socialised the losses
Teamwork saved the day,
Closed our eyes,
and blew financial clouds away.

BAU has resumed again
as a boom again, like yore.
CO2 the next toxic debt?
Like that other debt (but more)…

When the road ahead becomes divided
Will we stay the course?
When speculation drives a short-term focused bourse
That’s our Christmas wish from us to you and yours.


To the tune of ‘Hark! The Herald Angels Sing!’

Hark! It’s time for real reform
From this mess good things are born:
Risk’s now squarely centre-stage,
ESG has come of age.
Accountability is back,
Transparency’s the brand new black.
Hark! It’s time for real reform
From this mess good things are born.

Hark! It’s time for real reform
From this mess good things are born:
Investors everywhere unite
Now’s the time to get it right...
Redressing every misalignment
Is verily every Board’s assignment.
Hark! It’s time for real reform
From this mess good things are born.

Hark! It’s time for real reform
From this mess good things are born:
Carbon, ethics, conflicts, all
Have currency now in power’s halls
Capital will flow to real production
In the coming economic reconstruction.
Carpe Diem! Much to do!
Hope the season’s good to you.